EXPLORING



perng jie was complaining that i'm bad because i blog about ah pan :x
i'm being nice to entertain you okay. haha i let you all read and laugh, isn't that good?
once in awhile you all will feel tired or restless right, look at her pictures.
you will feel woah! HOTSTUFFS!

he's happily thinking that i won't post about him and i don't have his picture.
i shall asked ron for one and make perng jie cry! hahaha

i think our conversation is funny! LOL

Life or Death is better? Answer: Death!! says:
*diao
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*HAHAHAHA
*got laugh or not
*see i entertain you sia
Life or Death is better? Answer: Death!! says:
*got
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*see!
*you also bad, go laugh at xiao meimei
Life or Death is better? Answer: Death!! says:
*wha
*fine fine i bad
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*hahaha dont feel bad, everybody is laughing. lol
Life or Death is better? Answer: Death!! says:
*LOL
*later she cry how?
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*then you give her love la
*hahahaha
Life or Death is better? Answer: Death!! says:
*NO WAY
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*see you also dont want her, still blame me for blogging about her
Life or Death is better? Answer: Death!! says:
*sound like my fault











meet darling, pui the duck and orville at jurong point then cabbed over to WCP. it's the first
time i went there because i think we all still prefer ECP :X

only the three of them there when we reached. ben was the driver and cook for the night!
ram dropped his waterproof camera when we are taking photos. guess what he did to the
camera? he threw it into the box of ice. we went wtf you doing ram? hahaha

next up will be ben the main actor of the night. alongside with his cute yellow chicken! haha
we can feel how he love that chicken for that night. it's actually someone that ben ......
yup! correct. lol we gave him her number but he keep acting blur so we just save it in his
phone as lover.

the guys are super nice to cook for us and we just sat there and wait for them to get us foods :x
thanks! followed by ciggs break, phone number exchange session for someone ah. hahah!

really enjoyed the night with them.
class chalet will be held on the 29th of Jan.

ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*hahaha
*that picture also not natural one lor
*she there fake smiling
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*ahahah
*i will have a post just for ah pan
*lol
ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*LOL!!
*okay
*I await your post
*:)
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*okat
*10mins
*hahaha
*later you sure laugh until cannot walk
*lol!
ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*haha
*okay
*i go see!
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*wait wait
*hahaah
*posting soon
*2 more mins
ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*chey
*i tot u blog le
*hahaha
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*HAHAHA
*DONE
*:D
*hahahaha
ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*HAHAHA
*I love you too LOL!!
MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*WAHAHAHAHA!
ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*can't stop laughing
ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*can't stop laughing
*next time go out got new things to pose le
*lol!!

MessageBox.Show(" 보고 싶다 "); says:
*ahaaha!
ツ n Σ t z Z ©™ says:
*damn fake la that smile
*like purposely ask ppl to take
*LOL!

AH PAN SPECIAL

okay i decided not to mix the post on her with my other posts.
you must be thinking why am i blogging about her right? because she so tiny!
she just can't have her own style. ever since poly year one, she's so fake to ask her mum to scold
my friends and still dare to call me and tell me they bully her. hello, you think i'm your bao mu ah? i don't have time to entertain xiao meimei. haha

BKE TO PIE (CHANGI)

As promised, i'm going to blog about "ah pan".
but before i start blogging about her, i want to let everyone knows that im very happy today :D

planned to reach office @ 8.30am today so i left my house @ 7.45am. traffic was alright until
i reached bke. and until a point that it went STOP. complete stop i'm trying to say, every car on
the right lane was travelling at 5km/hr? saw quite a number of ngee ann students riding bike
with the ngee ann jacket. if i can have a bike license i think i will reach school long ago.

Jam from PIE(Changi) to Lornie.
-.- make me nearly fall asleep while driving. next big thing is the ERP( 7.55am to 8.55am)
i'm in front of the ERP at 8.54am. yes one more min! arghh.

so moral of the story, im very late for work today.

Sentosa Outing and Ram's Birthday BBQ Pictures coming up :D
not forgetting about ah pan's picture. all thanks to darling for telling me on facebook so i went
to take a look how ah pan trying to be like me.

i want to change my blog song but i can't seem to upload. so shall see when i'm able change to
ETUDE. super nice song by SNSD. Ron told me that T-ARA is a new korean girls group
that he finds better than SNSD. eh i don't think so :P

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out In Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. We had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girl's eyeballs." Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together or, I was lounging before the computer, visualising Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way. "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

Once again, Dew said to me. "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?" Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you". She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me. "You are not a man!" At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple. Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember." "You carried me in your arms." She continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce." She said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.

She closed her eyes and said softly. "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realised that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualisation of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realised that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead, "You got no fever." I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew. I can only say sorry to you. I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote. "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

i hope u can forgive me
perhaps someday in the future
or maybe not